Jokes

What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What's black and thrashes around? A garbage bag on the ground in the wind.
Whats the similarity between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground. Except for the eagle.
How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw the light bulb in and one to hold the ladder in a safe and proper fashion, securing the safety of the jew on the ladder.
What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.
What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

The History of Hiking... don't be offended

Imagine yourself in a forest. Tall oaks tower above. Your feet scruff along the rocky mountain path and your ankles brush against the ferns and wildflowers. You hoist your Mountain Hardware brand backpack high upon your shoulders as you wipe away the beads of sweat that drip slowly over your tie-dyed bandanna and onto your scruff-covered cheek. Your grateful dead concert tee compliments your heady wool socks and leather high top boots in the same way that your trippy blue and green glass bowl compliments your existentialist attitude towards life. You pause and think to yourself, “Why are we here? What is the purpose of this life?” This is a question that cannot be answered by the simple act of inquisition, but rather by the illuminating act of exploration and discovery. In a world in which we don’t have any answers, hiking acts as the vessel through which we explore our doubts and uncover unparalleled truths and epiphanies.

The progressive act of hiking spawned when the apes crawled down from the trees in Africa, and has progressed through the centuries, evolving into a form of expression that can captivate the mind and stimulate the soul. Though originally created in the subconscious minds of early humanoids when we first learned to stand of two legs, the discovery of hiking is often credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson. In more recent years, the credit has shifted to Jim James, singer-songwriter-guitarist of Kentucky based rock band, My Morning Jacket. Though the movement has seen glimpses of popularity throughout history, such as King Arthur’s quest for the Holy Grail and Johnny Appleseed’s hikes through the Appalachians and Midwest during the early 19^th century, its most profound impact began in the 20^th century and continues through present day. Originally modernized by Emerson and Thoreau during the transcendentalist movement of the late 1800s, Hiking was carried through the 20^th century by boy scouts and really queer dudes who would rather look at ducks and waterfalls than hold a productive job for society. Hiking saw an impressive rise in popularity during the 1940s in Eastern Central Europe. Not only did the holocaust bring hiking to main stage popularity during the ‘40s, but it also propelled the hobby into a new, more intense version: Trekking (derived from the Afrikaan language, meaning a long, hard journey.) Jews hiked from conquered eastern European countries toward freedom in the West, and as a result, the hobby evolved into the more excruciating counterpart of trekking that we see today. Though shocking and heartbreaking for the Jewish race, the Holocaust proved to be one of the most influential stages in the history of hiking and trekking, in terms of growth and development of this unique and progressive form of expression.

Today, hiking proves to be one of the most sustained art forms to grace the lives of many grungy hippies and heady jam band fans. Hiking has influenced the lives of many people from many diverse groups. From tiger cubs and summer camp kids, to granola dorks and gdi queers, hiking has expanding the globe and weaved it’s way into American and global lifestyle. Different forms include Backpacking, Dog Hiking, Freehiking, Naked hiking, Hill Walking, Nordic Walking, Llama hiking, Scrambling, Waterfalling, and Day Hiking. All in all, hiking serves humanity as a form of expression that allows us to not only question the uncertainties we face in life, but also challenge the truths we seek to discover. So, I challenge you. I entreat you. I implore you. Go Hiking. Your soul will be happy you did.